こっちの世界ゾ〜ン・第八十弐夜「え〜ん誰か訳して〜！」

ネロさん談

ペンパルからきた、あっちの世界のお話らしいのだけど......

わかんな〜い♪

>>>>>This year's runner-up: An insurance company asked for more information
regarding a work-related accident claim. This was the response.

>>>>>"I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. I am an amateur
radio operator, and was working on the top section of my new 80 foot tower.
When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had brought up about 300 p
ounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the materials down by h
and, I decided to lower the items using a pulley. Securing the rope at groun
d level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools into a small ba
rrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly
to ensure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block
11 of the accident report that I weigh 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of bei
ng jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot
to let go of the rope. I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the si
de of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel comi
ng down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only
slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. "I rega
ined my presence of mind, and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my
pain. At the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the
bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel
now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block
number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of th
e tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. T
his accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations on my legs an
lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my inju
ries when I fell onto the pile of tools, so only three vertebrae were cracke
d. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay on the tools, in pain, unabl
e to stand and watch the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my pres
ence of mind, and let go of the rope . . ."


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パート2


>>>>>Here's the winner: Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have
actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, as hard as you
may find it to believe . .

>>>>>Larry was a truck driver, but his lifelong dream was to fly. When he
graduated from high school, he joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a p
ilot. Unfortunately, poor eyesight disqualified him. So when he finally left
the service, he had to satisfy himself with watching others fly the fighter
jets that crisscrossed the skies over his backyard. As he sat there in his l
awn chair, he dreamed about the magic of flying. Then one day, Larry had an
idea. He went down to the local Army-Navy surplus store and bought forty-fiv
e weather balloons, and several tanks of helium. These were not your brightl
y colored party balloons, these were heavy-duty spheres measuring more than
four feet across when fully inflated. Back in his yard, Larry used straps to
attach the balloons to his lawn chair, the kind you might have in your back
yard. He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep, and inflated the ball
oons with helium. Then he packed a few sandwiches and drinks, and a loaded B
B gun, figuring he could pop a few balloons when it was time to return to ea
rth. His preparations complete, Larry sat in his chair and cut the anchoring
cord. His plan was to lazily float into the sky, and eventually back to terr
a firma. But things didn't quite work out that way.
When Larry cut the cord, he didn't float lazily up; he shot up as if fired f
rom a cannon! Nor did he go up a couple hundred feet. He climbed and climbed
until he finally leveled off at eleven thousand feet! At that height, he cou
ld hardly risk deflating any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and
really experience flying. So he stayed up there, sailing around for fourteen
hours, totally at a loss about how to get down.

>>>>>Eventually, Larry drifted into the approach corridor for Los Angeles
International Airport. A Pan Am pilot radioed the tower about passing a guy
in a lawn chair at eleven thousand feet, with a gun in his lap . . . now the
re's a conversation I would have given anything to have heard! LAX is right
on the ocean, and you may know that at nightfall, the winds on the coast beg
in to change. So, as dusk fell, Larry began drifting out to sea. At that poi
nt, the Navy dispatched a helicopter to rescue him, but the rescue team had
a hard time getting to him because the draft from their propeller kept pushi
ng his home-made contraption farther and farther away. Eventually, they were
able to hover above him and drop a rescue line, with which they gradually ha
uled him back to safety. As soon as Larry hit the ground, he was arrested. B
ut as he was led away in handcuffs, a television reported called out, "Sir,
why'd you do it?" Larry stopped, eyed the man, then replied nonchalantly, "A
man can't just sit around!"




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